Literary Lapses [42 Stories]

the long version

My financial career.-- Lord Oxhead's secret.-- Boarding-house geometry.-- The awful fate of Melpomenus Jones.-- A Christmas letter.-- How to make a million dollars.-- How to live to be 200.-- How to avoid getting married.-- How to be a doctor.-- The new food.-- A new pathology.-- The poet answered.-- The force of statistics.-- Men who have shaved me.-- Getting the thread of it.-- Telling his faults.-- Winter pastimes.-- Number fifty-six.--Aristocratic education.-- The conjurer's revenge.-- Hints to travellers.-- A manual of education.-- Hoodoo McFiggin's Christmas.-- The life of John Smith.--On collecting things.-- Society chit-chat.-- Insurance up to-date.-- Borrowing a match.-- A lesson in fiction.-- Helping the Armenians.-- A study in still life, the country hotel.-- An experiment with Policeman Hogan.-- The passing of the poet.-- Self-made men.-- A model dialogue.-- Bach to the bush.--Reflections on riding.-- Saloonio.-- Half-hours with the poets: Mr. Wordsworth and the cottage girl; How Tennyson killed the May queen; Old Mr. Longfellow on board the Hesperus. --A, B, and C.